Best of Severus Snape/Hermione Granger Fanfiction

Very few fics make it into my favorites list. It’s harder still to find truly good ones about Snape and Hermione. Let me save you the trouble of wallowing through the tired cliches, sickeningly sweet Snapes, and painfully dull Hermione Sues; read these instead.

1. Self-Slain Gods on Strange Altars by ScumBlackEntropy

What it’s about: The series as told from Hermione’s perspective beginning with OotP and delving into the harsh aftermath of Deathly Hallows that Rowling conveniently skimmed over. And oh yeah–there’s this little thing with Snape thrown into the mix.

Who should read it: Fans of modernist poetry. Fans of angst and fans of Severus Snape just as he is; unattractive, insecure, cruel and all too human. Fans of Imogene Heap’s “Hide and Seek”. Fans of fiction reaching literary caliber. Fans of deliciously decadent unresolved sexual tension. Fans of Epilogue? What Epilogue? Fans of feeling like their emotions went through a wringer, washing machine, raked over hot coals, and who would turn around and read it all over again because it’s THAT GOOD.

Comments: I probably should have saved the best for last, but I am such a huge admirer of this fic that I wanted to bring it up right away instead of taking the chance that you might not read the rest of this post and miss it. Hands down, this is the most plausible portrayal of a SSHG relationship I have ever read. The fact that it’s canon compliant for a stretch of the three longest books is also an achievement. It’s so emotionally compelling, I’ve basically given up ever trying to write an SSHG fic because THIS is the story I would tell. No need to reinvent the wheel!

Although the prose can border on purple, it still manages to reveal all kinds of gut wrenching truths not merely limited to Snape and Hermione’s relationship. It’s safe to say this fic requires a bit of heartbreak experience to fully appreciate. I don’t know if I would have even liked it had I come across it in my early twenties. Sprinkled throughout to temper the harrowing emotions are moments of friendship and existential insights between the characters that would not be amiss in actual canon. The author also bears the distinction of having written the most realistic-yet-scorchingly-hot sex scene I have ever read. I dare you to read the first chapter of this fic and not get sucked in.

It was a distraction. That’s all it was. She was stressed. She gave in because she is young, and the thrill of being wanted was new and heady and made her feel like…


Like something burning. And alive. And just… it was wonderful.

And he did it because she understands him to be one of those people who cannot sacrifice irresolutely, or sin half-heartedly, or do anything without throwing the whole of himself under the weight of it. He is the type of man to make Unbreakable Vows, and there is an autonomy to his tragedy that tugs on some buried part of her.

She wonders if she can just let this thing die without ever having felt his hands on her body, and then she tells herself that there is nothing to let die, because it’s been dead weeks ago.


2. Killing Time by Lariope

Who should read it: Anyone curious to see the virgin!Hermione and sexgod!Snape cliches totally turned on their head in a very successful way. Fans of reformed!Draco, fans of post-Hogwarts material

What it’s about: In the aftermath of destruction wrought from the war, Harry opens Grimmauld Place to those in his circle needing a home. Though he survives Nagini’s attack and is exonerated for his crimes, Snape is left destitute with the destruction of Spinner’s End, and forced to consider Harry’s offer. This is a story of Snape putting together the broken pieces of his stunted life and finally living for himself.

Comments: I was impressed by the strong writing and decent characterization from the get-go; It’s a cleanly executed story for fanfiction. The technical proficiency on top of completely reinterpreting popular notions of what an SSHG relationship can look like is by far it’s most successful point, and you’ll find yourself thinking about its unique perspective long after you’ve put the fic aside.

It was while he was working the lather through his hair that he heard her door shut. At first he told himself that it was impossible to hear anything of the kind when surrounded by the pounding of water against tile, but then he heard the scrape of drawers opening and footsteps.

She had never been home while he had showered before. Suddenly, he knew why she cast those Silencing Charms. It was…well, it was mortifying to stand here naked with Granger only on the other side of a flimsy wall. She could hear him! She knew what he was doing. She might even picture him naked. That idea made him flush painfully. He had certainly never pictured her naked–she had no right! And yet now that he’d thought of it, he knew he would not be able to unthink it, and the next time he heard the thunder of the water starting up, there she’d be in his mind, taking off her… He shut off the water.

3. The Problem with Spitting by RussianDestruction

Who should read it: Anyone looking for a quick fix, who loves rough and (mostly) unapologetic power play in their erotica. Or maybe just in their Severus Snape.

Comments: Ever get to the part in the story where there’s a sex scene and you’re like “Oh goody!” and then one paragraph in you realize you’re just skimming to get to the end because the author somehow managed to make sex sound like Courtney Stodden’s twitter feed? Yeah, that’s not this story. This BDSM themed romp is shocking mainly because the author actually appears to be knowledgeable about kink. It’s quick and dirty and laced with a bit of humor. Bonus points for being written by a former milspouse!

He sneered down at her, slim nostrils flared, pale face livid with anger. Slowly and deliberately, holding her gaze, he passed the cuff of his robes over his face, removing the traces of her loss of control.

Hermione knew she should probably start groveling right about now. She didn’t think that even Dumbledore would find a way to excuse this, and as the enormity of what she had done sunk in, she knew she deserved whatever punishment Snape felt inclined to mete out. A contrary part of her rejoiced in her small act of retaliation, feeling that the injustices of the last six and a half years had been at least partially redressed, but even through this weak sense of accomplishment, she had to suppress a rather violent shudder. What was he going to do to her?

Honorable Mention

Getting the Hang of Thursdays by Hayseed: Snape and Hermione are having the worst day of their lives… over and over, and over again. Based off of Stephen Hawking’s time travel paradox. Clever and different!

If you read one of these, let me know what you think. I’m kind of starved for fanfic discussion. Also, what are your favorite SSHG fics?


Alan Rickman

When I was living in Brooklyn, I learned that Alan Rickman was undertaking the title role on stage at the BAM, in Ibsen’s “John Gabriel Borkman”. Although my entire exposure to Ibsen  consisted of a few plays in high school, it was enough to put me off for life (I loathed “A Doll’s House” with a passion that my friends still tease me about).

But I didn’t think I could pass up the opportunity to see Rickman in person–for over an hour–and not get slapped with a restraining order. Too good to be true! I was dirt poor, barely making my rent, eating ramen for 3 meals a day, and living in a ghetto part of Flatbush. But dammit! This is what I came to New York for! This is why I was carving out a meager existence, to live and work alongside greatness!

And when I realized that he was to share the stage with Fiona Shaw, the fangirl in me squeed to death! Severus Snape and Petunia Dursley live! Ibsen or no Ibsen, I was going to see that play.

I scraped, cobbled, and pinched together my $40 bucks for some nosebleed seats and dragged along a friend who though not a Potter fan, was certainly a Col. Brandon lover. And then sat there in the dark breathing deeply while thinking, Ermgah, Alan Rickman and I are breathing the same air! Which is more or less where my mind wandered whenever Ibsen’s pedantic character monologues threatened to strangle someone (usually Rickman, alas). (For anyone who cares about a critical review of the play, I agree that’s review on it is spot-on.)


Seeing him in the flesh made me have a much greater appreciation for his past roles and wonder deeper; just what is it about him that garners so many female fans?

Empire Online recently ranked him 8 out of top 50 sexiest movie stars (reader’s choice), which is pretty incredible for a man with rather average looks over the age of 50. In fact, he was only beaten out by such perennial favorites as Clooney, Pitt, and Depp. I like how they described “Rickman’s rogues'” as being “united by the fact that they’re all strangely, unjustifiably sexy.” This is just it. Unjustifiably sexy. You can’t really put a finger on why it is. I only know that I feel more sex appeal in his performances than almost anything put out by stars half his age and twice as good looking. And usually he isn’t even playing a romantic protagonist.

To me, that’s talent. His acting is so nuanced that he’s able to glamour us mortals into thinking he’s smoking hot man meat, when anyone with an objective eye can tell you otherwise.

If you are interested in a light overview of his career, BBCA has a great article called Best of Alan Rickman, where it introduced me to the following gems;

1978 guys. Dang! My initial reaction was to get way too excited about the fact that this is what Snape would look like in Harry’s first or second year (minus the bowl cut), had Rickman been the same age as portrayed in the books (yes, it always comes back to Harry Potter), Secondly, he looks quite young for being 32, and I was thrown off by the fact that he kind of looks like a baby but has the same voice! It made me think about how he probably spoke that way even as a late teen.

I am wondering if that voice paired with his Spock-like face probably didn’t work in his favor, romantically speaking, at a young age. One fan writes about his characters; “He’s the handsome bad boy you just know you could fix, he’s the sensitive guy who’s overlooked, he’s the under-appreciated fellow you suddenly realize has been there all along, he’s the one you let get away.” And I think there’s a lot of truth in that, perhaps because he’s drawing on his earliest experiences. Mere conjecture on my part, but one can’t help but compare how he was clearly not cast as the charming and classically beautiful Mercutio or Romeo, but as the foil, Tybalt. I like to think that he plays such beautifully underestimated, underdog, and subtle characters because he was one at one point.

And while we’re on the subject of looks, I think it’s fair to say that in Rickman’s case, his features softened somewhat into a more conventionally handsome appeal as he grew older. I think of him in Die Hard and Sense and Sensibillity; yes, middle age was quite kind to him. Rather unfair when you think about it for women. How many women do you know actually reach their peak in looks once they’re nearly 50?

Since I am a recent fan and have really only seen his latest work, it’s evident how much he has grown as an actor when you look at him here. There is a work-in-progress feel about his expressions and inflections; you can see the bare bones of what he has evolved into today. A highly fascinating clip.

The second piece that interested me was this compilation of scenes from his role as Obadiah Slope in the Barchester Chronicles.

I clicked play, barely even registering what show or movie this came from, and by the time I finished I was hooked! I had to see more! If this isn’t proto-Snape I don’t know what is–down to the vestibule like costuming! Sometime soon I’m going to order the miniseries and do a complete viewing. I’m pretty excited.

It’s really appalling how this man hasn’t earned a single Oscar. Kind of sickening, actually. Fuel the rage with this article detailing his snubs.

Oh Mr. Rickman! I know you hate how the role of Snape constantly threatens to overshadow your past and present work, but your moving portrayal of him is precisely what garnered you new fans; ones that may take a more serious look at your other pieces once we’re done drowning our feels in Firewhisky. So try not to hate us  too much!

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